Monday, January 24, 2011

A while ago I thought I'd like to volunteer time at the church I've been attending. I really enjoy it there and have been wanting to give back something. I called one Sunday afternoon with my schedule in hand to let them know that I was available the first half of the week.

The voice on the other end sounded older and I mentioned that I'd like to offer my time and services. My idea was driving people to doctor's appointments, picking up kids in the van for youth group, those kinds of things. Wondering how the church would make use of my services was actually kind of exciting.
The voice on the other end of the phone then said, "Do you have a phone book? Yes? Let me give you the name of our custodian.?"
My heart sank. This was NOT what I had in mind as far as volunteering to help. I listened and heard the custodian's name but I didn't commit it to memory. I thanked him for the information and then said goodbye and hung up. Initially I was disappointed. Cleaning toilets was not something I wanted to do, nor was I willing to do it. I moped around for a while before the dawning realization that I was being an arrogant jerk. What on earth made me think that I am above helping out with cleaning the sanctuary? Sadly I have done nothing to rectify this.
Several weeks later the man who had given me the information asked if I'd called. I said no because I hadn't. Then a week later I met the guy who does the custodial duties. He's a really nice guy and I remain an arrogant jerk. It's difficult and saddening to see who I really am or can be.  It's even worse to recognize it and do nothing about it. I have so much yet to work on, and only a lifetime to do it. Without Grace, Mercy and the Love of THE Heavenly Father I'll never come near. Grant me a true heart of service. Break my current heart and heal it.