Monday, April 04, 2011

Early April, 2:09 AM. Slow, steady rumblings in the black of early morning. Occasional flashes of light create glittering still life outside the window. Shimmering, swaying trees in view for a split second and then dark again. Persistant dripping of sorrow from the sky onto the rooftop, icy white pellets shrink in the cleansing...renewal. Time passes making the memories clearer, more distinct, someone gone, too soon.
Missed. Mourned. Hurt for those left behind. Pain.
Kind responses to the posting of this loss. Hopes those here and related can somehow feel the comfort, the care, the compassion, even though the loss never really goes away. Kindness from strangers. Kindness from friends.
Years and years since since last seen. Occasional thoughts of her coercing a smile to lips, encouraging crinkled skin at the outer edge of eyes, a glisten, a spark. Remembering the laughter, the energy, the stories, the life...
Asking why so withdrawn, why so alone, why the choice for so long to be separate. An occasion to call to question choices, about self, about time, about others, about wasting what's meant to be shared. Apprecitated. Respected. A privilege. Precious. It matters.
When someone hurts, we all must.
"I don't have to hear it, if I don't want to
I can drown this out, pull the curtains down on you
It's a heavy world, it's too much for me to care
If I close my eyes, it's not there

With my headphones on, with my headphones on
With my headphones on, with my headphones on"
                                 --(headphones/jars of clay)